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I have been to expensive and fancy treatment centers before, but upon discharge and return home to Austin, was never set up in the recovery community with the proper support and guidance. Many people think of making amends as simply apologizing for whatever wrongs they did in their using, however an apology is not an amend. An amend involves rectifying or making right what was wrong. For example, say that you stole $20 from your brother while you were using. In the midst of your ninth step, you say to him “I’m so sorry that I stole that money from you and used it for drugs”.

My plans are to continue things I do daily that help me stay on the beam in my recovery. I have been meeting lots of people within the aa community and have a few promising job leads. I have also joined up with a group of musicians who get together before meetings and play music. It’s been a really great experience to do that sober, with other sober people! I hope to continue getting pet sitting opportunities as well.

The Importance of Sober Living Outside of Treatment

We come to understand that we are good people with a bad disease. Steps 8 and 9 help us to move out of the shame we have lived in, shame that feeds the cycle of substance use and addiction. We strengthen and reinforce healthy recovery whenever we do our part to repair relationships or reach out to others with support and understanding. In addiction, our actions and intentions aren’t aligned.

  • Well, the time came to continue my living amends to her and redo her entire master suite, including her bathroom.
  • Hello, my name is Jordan, and I am writing to you about the importance of scholarships in sober living.
  • I also made countless promises to her that I did not keep.
  • “They talk about maintenance, but there’s no performance requirements or guarantees or actions from Electrify America,” Cullen said.
  • It’s much easier to just apologize and move on, but committing to living your life differently looks different.
  • In response to questions about adding performance requirements to its next investment plan, Lambkin said Electrify America was following the requirements of the original settlement agreement.

We’ve written about how common guilt is in grief (you wouldn’t believe how many people get the “coulda woulda shouldas”). We wrote an article about the difference between guilt and regret. We talked about the complicated processes of self-forgiveness and self-compassion. We’ve filled you in on things that can exacerbate guilt, like hindsight bias and survivors’ guilt. We’ve given you journaling exercises around coping with regret. Years of being torn between hope and hopelessness followed.

When Should You Approach a Person to Make Amends?

One of the greatest regrets some people endure is not apologizing to a loved one for past wrongs before they die. Tragic events happen every day, and in ways we least expect. Many individuals know that they need to apologize to someone they love but fail to do so out of pride or ego. As a result, the opportunity is lost to make things right if that person dies before they can apologize. Living amends refers to making promises to the people in your life whom you’ve wronged or who have hurt you. These promises focus on rebuilding your relationship with a loved one and moving forward from the pain of the past.

living amends

Bad economic storytelling says to millions of Americans in an election year that they only think that they are struggling financially. Good economic storytelling would figure out how to account for their experiences and imagine a better future. People need child care and dentists and affordable housing and safe transportation and accessible education.

What’s In Your Recovery Tool Kit

There are some important things you must know and do to successfully make 9th step amends. If so, contact living amends online today or apply for our scholarship by filling out the form below. Our goal is to establish a relationship with high accountability and supportive sober living homes, allowing us to invest in a client’s success. We asked for weekly progress reports and are ready to intervene if we see a problem. You don’t have to take our word for the success of sober living in preventing relapse.

I nearly lost my life in 2012 when after drinking all day, my mind gave up, and I went into a psychosis and took all my medications which consisted of blood pressure and antidepressant mostly. My heart couldn’t take it, and I went into acute respiratory failure. After having a procedure on my heart, due to the meds I took, I was released only to drink that very same day.

Get help for recovery and the 12-Step Program

You, at least, have done your best and can now move on. Completing Step 9 is the next step forward in recovery, regardless of how the other person responds. It would be nice if the above outcomes were universal—but they aren’t (of course). Making amends won’t necessarily play out like the ending of a Hallmark movie. Sometimes, the outcome can be uglier and downright disappointing.

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